


Together with You

by Kevin_Mask (Nikolai_Knight)



Category: Kinnikuman
Genre: Bittersweet Ending, Canon Disabled Character, Friendship/Love, M/M, Sexuality Crisis, Unresolved Sexual Tension
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-05-20
Updated: 2019-05-20
Packaged: 2020-03-08 16:05:33
Rating: Mature
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 4,384
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/18898027
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Nikolai_Knight/pseuds/Kevin_Mask
Summary: During the American Tour, Suguru asks Terryman to act as his tag-partner.He never expected to be denied.He expected even less the confessions that would follow as they lay under the stars.





	Together with You

_‘Open your eyes!’_

_Adrenaline coursed. It flooded through every vein, while his heart pounded loud within his ears and drowned out all other sounds. Suguru clenched his fists. The sharp nails dug into his palms, leaving crescent-shaped cuts on tanned flesh, and his breath fled through his nostrils with hissed sounds. He stood over Terryman. He looked down. A cold sweat dripped down his flesh, chilling his muscles, as if icy water were poured over him._

_Suguru opened his mouth to scream, but then he saw it . . . the leg. Terryman lay prone and broken on the freshly mown grass, with his bare chest and face pale as all blood drained from his frame, and there . . . prominent . . . conspicuous in its absence . . . the stub of a leg sat wrapped in fresh bandages. A terrible churning tore at Suguru’s stomach. The nausea rose high in his oesophagus, until it burned and scratched at his insides, and soon he tasted bile at the back of his throat. Tears blurred his vision, as his lip trembled._

_‘Terry, your leg!’_

_Terryman dove towards his horse. He pushed past Suguru, with his hand clinging as if seeking support, and – with muscles bulging – pulled himself into the saddle, where his thighs clenched to keep him perched in place . . . only one leg reached the stirrups, as the other remained an absent question mark. Suguru swallowed. The sound of pounding hoofs echoed across the ranch, until Terryman disappeared out of sight, and Suguru was left alone with racing and clamouring thoughts chaotically pounding in his brain . . ._

* * *

It was quiet . . .

A cool breeze caught at the dry grass, echoing about in the darkness. The crickets chirped in the distance, sounding out from all directions, and the strange cacophony of assorted sounds – so far removed from the hustle-and-bustle of the city – nearly lulled him into a sleep. Every beat of his heart mingled with the world around him, until it was mere white noise . . . a reminder of life and a reminder he was never truly alone . . . he closed his eyes.

The grass beneath him was nothing like in Japan. The texture was a constant reminder that this was a foreign land, while the scents were alien and bizarre, and the air was dry . . . no wall of humid steam when stepping off the plane, no pollen tickling at his nose and invoking flu-like symptoms . . . just this land of opportunity and adventure. He could look out for miles and only see fields and mountains and desert, but no houses or business or homes, and with that – in this strange world – it was like only he and his friends existed. No pain.

A loud gallop swept through his drifting thoughts; Suguru broke into a smile, as he rested his hands behind his head and interlocked his fingers, and he slowly opened his eyes, as the sound of hoofs grew louder and louder in its intensity.  The silhouette of a man on horseback appeared before him, a shadow only somewhat darker than those others under the night skies, and Suguru blinked back tears to see the horse shuffling from hoof to hoof.

“Thanks for meeting me here,” said Suguru.

Terryman jumped down from the saddle. He landed with perfect balance, even with a missing limb and discontented countenance, and – with a firm slap to the mare’s back flank – the horse reared up with a loud ‘neigh’, before it rode off with great speed back to the stables from which it was taken. Terry awkwardly sat down on the grass. He shuffled along the ground, until he reached Suguru with a low sigh, and finally dropped down into a reclining position, as he mimicked the body language and rested hands underneath his head.  

“Why d’ ya want to meet here, pal?”

Suguru blushed beneath his mask, while he fidgeted from side to side. The warmth from Terry was a small comfort against his skin, as they lay only a few inches apart, and only a worn pair of jeans covered any of Terry’s body from sight. It was difficult not to rake his eyes over the toned and muscular chest, where a pair of nipples stood erect in the cool breeze. Suguru swallowed hard. He brought his hands awkwardly to his stomach, where he played with his fingers and picked at the callused skin about his nails, and laughed to himself.

“I used to always stargaze as a kid,” said Suguru. “I never really learned much about the planets and things, mostly ‘cause I sucked at school and I was busy building a place for myself, you know . . . trying to make ends meet, stay alive . . . still, when I looked up at the stars, I’d imagine all the _chojin_ from all the millennia and I’d feel less alone.”

“Kind o’ like they were looking back at ya?”

“Nah.” Suguru laughed. “I knew no one was looking in my direction. If they were, they’d just puke and run away! I guess I just thought . . . maybe . . . someone else was looking at the stars and felt just as lonely and useless as me, and maybe . . . maybe we could just share something in that moment, like we could be lonely and useless together!

“Anyway, they built Tokyo up a _lot_ in just twenty years, huh? You can’t even see the moon on some nights, and I came here and it was all so pretty! I thought: why should we both look at the same stars in different places? We should look at them together! That’s all.”

A low chuckle escaped from Terry’s lips. He rolled onto his side and rested his head on a hand, while Suguru rapidly blinked to see such a warm face, and – as it blocked out the moon and stars from sight – it was still so much brighter than all of them combined. If this were Bibimba, he would have been tempted to brush their lips together . . . relish in the small gasp that would be emitted . . . pull back with a blush and stuttered apology, while she would giggle and hide her lips behind her hand . . . Suguru swallowed again, as Terry whispered:

“If I were with Natsuko, I’d o’ said I’d rather watch the stars through her eyes.”

“Yeah, stargazing is always better with a cute girl.”

“But it’s still just as special with a good friend,” admitted Terryman. “I guess it’s been difficult with Natsuko lately, ya know? Like, I feel like less o’ a man, like I can’t do the thing ah used to do, and I feel like ah’m the one that’s meant to be strong for her . . . her hero, her love, her rock . . . how can I then be the one to be so broken and be weak?”

“Huh? Really?” Suguru furrowed his brow. “I never had that with Bibimba. Do you think it’s just because it’s early days? I just know that I want a partner that can be my everything! I want to trust them and hold them and tell them all my secrets, but I want them to do the same, too, so like we can tell each other everything! If I’m broken, she can fix me. If she’s weak, I’ll make her strong. How can you be Natsuko’s equal if you’re not like that?”

“How can I be _anyone’s_ equal now?”

“Dude, you’re such a downer! You only lost a leg. It’s sad, sure, but you’re acting like you’re less of a man and that just ain’t true! I wouldn’t want to fight alongside anyone else for my fight tomorrow, and do you know why -? It’s because even with one leg, you’re twice the man of any man I know! I’m going to feel bad for you, yeah, but I’m not going to feel _sorry_ for you, not while you’re still strong and hot and have a cute girl at your side!

“Plus, I don’t think equal means ‘the same’,” continued Suguru. “We won’t ever be the same, because I’ll always be more awesome than you, but we’re still equals because we’re both people and that’s all that matters . . . you give people what they need to live life like anyone else, and for you that might mean a prosthetic or it might not, but you’re a man either way.”

Tears pricked at Terry’s eyes. He fell onto his back, as he raised a hand to shield his eyes, but there was no missing the single tear that ran down his cheek, until it was lost in silver hair and left only a long trail as proof of its existence. Suguru slid a hand between them, until the tip of his little finger touched at the pale skin of a warm torso. He wiggled it a little. Terry drew in a staggered breath, before he snatched at the hand and held it tight, and Suguru squeezed back, as Terry’s eyes finally brightened a little and reflected back the stars.

“Everyone else looks at me with pity,” said Terry.

“Yeah, but they’re all total dumbasses!”

A loud laugh escaped Terry, until he cried through tears. The colour returned to his cheeks, while the smile brought lines at the corner of his eyes, and a tooth visibly gnawed at this lower lip, while the back of his thumb stroked at Suguru’s palm. It was a ticklish touch, as well as so intimate. Suguru swallowed back a lump in his throat. He saw how those eyes turned to look at him, how the pupils were so blown . . . Suguru laughed out:

“Hey, if I could fight with a broken back –”

Terry kissed him. It was sudden, too sudden to react. There was just a blur of movement, as the shadowy silhouette of his friend dove toward him, and then a press of chapped lips against his lips, sending a shudder through every muscle. Suguru gasped. The slight parting was enough for Terry to slip in his tongue, where he explored with earnest, and – just as Suguru moaned – realisation dawned. Terry pulled away. A trail of saliva linked them for a brief second, as both panted and blushed, and Suguru could only stare as Terry stuttered:  

“I – I’m so sorry! I – I shouldn’t –”

 _A mad scramble_. Terryman pushed away and tried to climb upward, but there was no purchase with only one leg . . . no balance in his momentary panic . . . Suguru groaned and threw an arm around that perfectly proportioned waist, even as Terry continued to babble and stutter and fight through his tears. He threw Terry down and pinned him by his wrists. The pounding of his heart echoed in his ears, while Terry verged on hyperventilation. Suguru furrowed his brow and lightly slapped Terry’s check, while he sat astride him and spat:

“Don’t run away now, idiot!”

“B-But I j-just –!”

“That’s why we have to talk about it.” Suguru pouted. “I mean, I guess I could go both ways at a push? I do prefer the ladies, though! If I had to pick any guy, I’d be so lucky to have one as loyal and selfless and strong as you, and . . . well . . . I guess Bibimba and I haven’t had the talk yet about being exclusive, and we’re still casual, I think, maybe . . .”

“H-Have you even – did you ever – I mean – with Bibimba?”

“N-Nah . . . I always wanted my first time to be special, and Bibimba and I promised to wait until our wedding night, if we still decide to get married an’ all . . . she decided to join the Earth Defence League, and I decided I’m going to be the best chojin ever! We’re still finding ourselves, so if we’re going to make love then we want to be committed and certain, aha.”

“I – I wish I felt the same way,” mumbled Terryman. “I love Natsuko more than anything, an’ my heart swells whenever I see her, so ah know she’s the one for me, but . . . but something’s lacking when we – er – do things. It ain’t never what I expect it to be.”

“Oh – er – well – that’s not everything, is it?”

“I know that, honest. I see her an’ I feel this love like a mare lookin’ at its foal for the first time, or like when yer at church an’ you look up at the statue and get this swell of awe, like this love for a god or a child . . . something pure and beyond words . . . she’s mah everything, but still it’s like a piece is missin’, and I just wanted to try it the once, ya know?”

“But wouldn’t trying this just make it a lot harder for you?”

“Trust me, it ain’t been hard for a long time.”

Suguru blushed and swallowed hard. He looked down, where he realised where he sat, and – feeling _something_ beneath him – jumped off with muttered apologies, while he waved his hands frantically in the air with a gesture of surrender. Terryman uttered a broken laugh. They remained in an awkward silence, while Suguru sat cross-legged beside him and started to pull up clumps of grass with incoherent sounds of half-formed words, until he finally drew in a deep breath and licked at his lips, and he found strength to ask:

“Er, ah, maybe you’re . . . er . . . gay?”

A loud splutter escaped Terry’s mouth, as he choked on the cold air. He sat upright with head dropped forward, while Suguru – with a nervous laugh – patted firmly on his back to help with the intake of oxygen, and soon a raised hand signalled all was fine. Terry spun around and sat what would have been cross-legged. Suguru refused to look at the stub of his leg, but instead locked eyes with him and threw out his hands that were politely accepted. The warm touch sent shivers through Suguru. He waited patiently, until Terry finally found his words.

“Mah daddy would have a lot to say about me being gay,” said Terry.

“Yeah, well, _chojin_ ain’t really male or female, right?” Suguru brought a finger to his lips. “I think we just fall into gender roles that suit us better, but you could still totally carry on the family line if you wanted! We take on all forms and live all kinds of lives, and –”

“And he would still object. He’d want me to be wi’ a woman.”

“But do _you_ want to be with a woman?”

Terry squeezed at his hands. The touch was firm and rough, nothing like the soft and sweet-scented skin of Bibimba, and yet Suguru gasped as his heart bolted in his chest, while his eyes sparked with a vast array of colours. It was like his first kiss with Bibimba all over again, but somehow different and no less perfect. Terry struggled to maintain eye-contact, while he chewed at his lip until a speck of blood bubbled forth, and he rolled back his shoulders.

“I do love Natsuko,” said Terry.

“Eh, you’re avoiding the question! That’s not what I asked.”

A low groan escaped Terry, as he fell backwards onto the grass. The still clasped hands yanked Suguru forward, until – with a loud yelp – he collapsed on top of Terry and rolled beside him with a muttered complaint. Terry sighed and threw his arms around Suguru. It silenced any further complaints, as a warm body pressed against him and a soft cheek rested on his shoulder. Suguru held him back, while he buried his nose into the silver locks of hair, and breathed deep the scent of shea butter and tropical fruits, and smiled with closed eyes.

“I won’t ever leave her,” said Terryman.

“But you ain’t even attracted to her!”

“Ah still swore my life to her, Suguru!” Terry shook his head. “I still love her, too. That _is_ real and it ain’t never going to go away! Plus, we want the same things . . . we want to get married, have a bunch of kids, have someone t’ grow old with . . . sex can’t be a big thing to sacrifice, can it? I know I can make her happy _that_ way, even if I’m . . . broken.”

“I can’t imagine a relationship without a physical side,” said Suguru. “Still, I never really imagined a life without Bibimba before . . . maybe I’ll see if she wants to be exclusive when I get back! I feel complete with her, even though we haven’t even done _it_ yet.”

“Is that what makes _it_ good? Am I missing somethin’ with Natsuko?”

“You said it was better before you lost your leg, right? You’re probably too much inside your head! You feel less of a man and you’re worried what she thinks, and now you’re questioning your sexuality, too . . . I bet, once you feel like a man again, you’ll be able to – ah – crown the king and make him raise his sceptre high once more! Or . . . something?”

Terry froze. He lifted his head just enough to reveal a furrowed brow and pursed lips, as if he were trying to decipher some deeper meaning, and then – as his lip trembled – he burst into laughter and dropped his head back against Suguru. Each laugh reverberated through them, so that Suguru felt every jolt and jostle. The laughter was contagious. He laughed in turn and pressed a chaste kiss to soft hair, while Terry toyed with the white fabric of his vest, and together they watched the stars above. Terryman asked in a whisper:

“How’d you picture your first time?”

“I always pictured something I wouldn’t regret.” Suguru blushed. “I want something with someone I love and respect, and that will I’ll remember until the day I die, but that – even if it doesn’t work out – I’ll still look back and go: ‘I’d still do it again’. Was it like that for you?”

“Nah, not even close,” mumbled Terryman. “The first time was wi’ a girl at high-school, thought that ah I ought to just get it over with, ya know? After that, I dated a few different girls, but it ain’t ever worked out . . . I’d give my all every time, but they’d still want more than I could give ‘em, and then there was Natsuko -! She never asked for more, but still . . .”

“. . . you _want_ to give her everything.”

“Am I bad man? I _want_ to make things complete; I want to make love to her and bask in the afterglow, just like ah want to make her as happy as she makes me, and I want for everything t’ be perfect, but the more it ain’t perfect then the more I feel like ah’m failin’ her! And now this – this – this _fucking_ leg happens and I have even less to offer her! What can I do?”

A deep blush swept over Suguru. He stared off at the stars above, as he pursed his lips into a tight line, and his heart raced loud within his breast, so fast that he was sure Terry would hear every beat and every flutter. Suguru held Terry even tighter, until he was forced to loosen his hold lest he bruise that soft skin. The breeze continued to blow around them. A car revved its engine in the distance, as the world continued around them, and Suguru could only murmur:

“You – ah – could do me?”

Terryman audibly swallowed. He pushed himself up, before he sat astride Suguru, and – this time – it was Suguru’s turn to blush and pant and lick at his lips . . . arousal struck out of pure physical and instinctual reaction, as taut buttocks pressed against his groin. The heat that ran through him brought back memories of seeing Bibimba cooking breakfast in the morning . . . naked save for an apron, turning around for the most perfect view imaginable . . . Suguru winced and screwed shut his eyes. He shook his head over and over.

The image of Bibimba stayed in his mind, enough that his erection started to flag, and he remembered too well her tears and complaints . . . sounds to which he swore he would never again be the cause . . . promises of laughter and kisses and smiles . . . Suguru stared again at the stars. Bibimba might even be looking at the same constellations. Terryman lowered his hand and gently stroked at his cheek, before he hummed out in a low voice:

“You know how corny that sounded?”

“I – ah – er – just – I –” Suguru buried his face into his hands. “I thought you would want a night to just forget . . . to have that first time you deserved, as you’ve not been with a guy before, and I want to know what it’s like, because I – I trust and love you. I just . . . then I thought of Bibimba, so now I’m not sure, but I don’t want to go back on my word, and . . .”

He groaned again. Terryman sighed. The hands were pried away from his face, forcing him to lock eyes with his closest friend, and – as his mouth ran dry and erection throbbed once more – Suguru gently reached upward to stroke at a stray lock of hair. Terry nuzzled against the touch, before forcing open his palm and pressing kisses to the rough skin. The kisses soon drifted to his wrist . . . his forearm . . . his shoulder, neck, cheek . . .

Suguru growled and roughly grabbed at the silver locks. He threw Terryman down onto the soft grass, before sliding between his thighs, and pinned down his hands high above his head, before he forced a passionate kiss to his lips that threatened to consume him. There was a war of tongue, with the occasional smacking sound as lips parted, but rarely did their lips separate as Suguru lost himself in the taste of Terryman. He eventually threw back his head to pant for breath, before pressing kisses upon kisses down that long column of neck. Terry choked out:

“I – I can’t do this to Natsuko . . .”

A pained moan escaped Suguru, as his mouth hovered over a nipple. The instinct to suckle and lick fought with his need to stop, and – for a few seconds – Suguru remained poised over it unable to act and unable to pull away, but soon reason won over passion. He pulled away and dropped down next to Terryman. He crossed his legs and held them tight, as he tried to will his erection away. It continued to pulse in time with his heart, while the tingling pleasure tempted him for just one more touch, and Suguru forced a few more inches of distance.

“I understand,” said Suguru. “Even if we’re still casual, it’d kill me to think of Bibimba with someone else. Even this feels like cheating . . . like a lie of omission . . . just because we haven’t _had_ the conversation, it doesn’t mean we’re not both committed, right?”

“Right, plus if it ain’t Natsuko then I’m not sure I want it to be anyone else.”

“You really do love her more than anything else, don’t you?”

Terryman blinked back tears with a long sigh. The evidence of his arousal was evidence, as it tented those old jeans to an enviable amount, and Suguru realised it was something he would never experience with Bibimba . . . the feel of being filled, dominated . . . still, a smile swept over his features and brightened his eyes, as he thought to all the would share. Terryman bore the same bright smile, as he stared at the stars above with an equal interest. The desire was there, but the love for their partners was stronger, and Terryman quietly asked:

“Anything ah can do to make it up to ya?”

“Fight with me tomorrow?”

The moon above was bright, casting shadows about their expressions. It aged Terry beyond his years, as the light caught at his eyes and exaggerated a few lines, and yet his muscles gleamed almost silver in such a way that Suguru licked at his lips. The rush of endorphins would never compete with the rush of adrenaline, and Suguru – with a wink – offered his hand high in hopes that it would be taken and an agreement would be reached.

“Deal,” swore Terryman.

Terryman slapped his hand against Suguru. They squeezed and shook, before they pulled away and returned to lying side-by-side, and together they watched the stars as minutes turned to hours, without a single word else needing to be said. Suguru listened to every breath and watched every rise of that broad chest. Just when Terryman appeared to fall into a deep sleep, he nudged him hard in his side and pointed to a random part of the sky, and forced tired eyes to focus on the brightest star that was the most beautiful by far. Suguru chirped:

“Hey, look, there’s Orion the Cowboy!”

“Isn’t Orion meant t’ be a hunter?”

“Nah,” said Suguru. “Only a cowboy could sparkle that bright . . .”

* * *

_Suguru burst through the doors. The smile broke across his mask, highlighting the wrinkles about his eyes, and with each laugh – deep and melodious – the material would slip, now too large with the ‘redistribution’ of his former muscles. He pushed a hand over his head, only to scratch at the back of his neck. The calluses were rough. The skin was loose. Suguru blushed beneath his mask, as he looked down where his face reflected on the polished tiles._

_It was almost as if his father stared back, with the daunting realisation that not even a king could avoid old age, and yet – lifting his head and cricking his neck – not one other person in the room had completely avoided the ravages of time. Still, the smiles were real and no less sincere than that from their youth. Suguru took a seat on a far _chaise longue._ Ramenman and Buffaloman sat to his right on an old sofa, while Warsman lay reclined on the sofa to the left, and Robin – with a grunt – took an armchair at the foot of the sofa._

_‘We’re glad t’ be here,’ chirped Terryman._

_One long couch was left, just opposite Suguru. There sat Brocken Jr. and Terryman. A faint scent followed Terryman in specific, like one rushed from faraway ranches and finally returned to a warm home, and it was an earthy scent . . . rich and memorable . . . _the rich pastures of vast fields, Terryman falling from the grand horse, the reveal of a prosthetic leg ._  . . not all memories were good, but still Suguru cherished every one. Terryman nodded to Suguru. Suguru nodded back. The smile that past between them was for them alone._

_No one else would know what could have been . . ._

_Only the stars knew the truth._


End file.
